September 29, 2016

woman standing next to ocean

Stepbrother Was Accused of Rape: Who Comes to the Wedding?

She's the one making the ultimatum

by Liz Moorhead
Q: Last night, my future sister-in-law gave my fiancé an ultimatum: either we remove someone from our guest list, or she doesn’t come to the wedding. This person is my fiancé’s stepbrother, someone he has always felt close to and who he really wants to be there. This is also someone my sister-in-law says she cannot be in the same room with. The main controversy here is an event that isn’t agreed upon by the entire family. About ten years ago, while my sister-in-law and fiancé were in high school, one of her friends stayed the night in... read more
couple on pier in seattle

Sarah Gormley Is the Kind of Photographer You Want to Have Around

Endless artistry with no travel fees and no ego, she's APW's ride or die

by Stephanie Kaloi
When we first introduced you to Sarah Gormley Photography back in 2013, we had a hunch Sarah and the APW community would hit it off, and we were right. When you scroll down and look at her images, you’ll see emotional depth, a sense of humor, and an artistry that’s rare in this industry. So it’s no wonder Sarah has been averaging forty weddings a year all over the country (because, oh yeah, her rate is $3,800 for 10 hours of coverage and no travel fees ever), and that most of them are APW couples. The story of Sarah and the APW community is a... read more

Yesterday

woman with her feet in a lake

Feminism Doesn’t Mean You Love Your Body All the Time

And when you're planning a wedding? Girl, please

I was hoping that by the time I got here—to the days leading up to my wedding—my deep-rooted obsession with being thin would have magically evaporated. It’s humiliating to admit that lately I spend hours every day dwelling on this topic. It’s my own self-consciousness over how pathetic that feels that’s kept me from writing about it—until now. I’m keenly aware of the fact that I am a cliché: a white girl who grew up in the suburbs with no medical reason to worry about her weight, yet who is narrowly focused on bringing the number on the... read more
70380w14

25 Unique Engagement Rings That You Will Love

And did we mention they're all certified conflict-free?

by Maddie Eisenhart
Bless the Internet for making the life of a #lazygirl so much easier than it was just a decade ago. You can order groceries and have them delivered to your house! You can move money from one bank to another! A car will show up at your front door with the push of a button on your phone! But the thing is, when it comes to weddings—and more specifically, to getting engaged—there’s a lot of pressure to keep things traditional, often at the expense of practicality. Which, if tradition is what you want, then no shame. Do you. As for me? I will... read more

A couple of days ago

diamond engagement ring

Being Single Is Great, Except for When You Really Want to Be Married

I love my life, but sometimes I wish it were different

by Samantha Mansfield
My mother’s wedding dress looks perfect on me. We share not only the same eye color and face shape, but also, apparently, the dimensions of our thirty-year-old bodies. It’s a pretty off-white color, fitted tightly to the hips, then burgeons out just slightly, falling to the ankles. There’s an enormous bow I really love at the back, and fairly horrible poofy eighties sleeves, which I would like to have tailored entirely off. So. I have the dress, but not the groom. I have imagined the ceremony, the reception, the take-home favors—first with R... read more
two women in love on their wedding day

This Napa Valley Photographer Will Bathe Your Photos in Light

From early APW reader to awesome APW vendor

by Stephanie Kaloi
When you’re looking for a wedding photographer on APW, it’s pretty much guaranteed you’ll find folks whose philosophy is aligned with yours and ours: There is no single thing you need to get married (other than your partner, and in most states a marriage license/officiant), but you can have (and spend) whatever you want, as long as you do it thoughtfully. Plus, a wedding is a party and a chance to get loved ones together to celebrate your commitment, and all that jazz. So yes, all the photographers on APW are on board with that... read more

September 26, 2016

i vote feminist pin on jacket

How Do You Make It Work When You and Your Partner Don’t Agree on Politics?

What if you both don't go high when they go low?

by Stephanie Kaloi
I met my husband in a sociology class, and one of the very first things I found out about him is that he is a true-blue raving liberal. I mean, he is actually the guy my conservative parents warned me about. Luckily I’m equally raving, and we quickly found ourselves wrapped up in many a late-night/early morning discussion in which we railed against inequality and sexism and oppression and so on. You get the idea. We kept The Communist Manifesto within reach at all times, guys. It was good. I wasn’t seriously involved with many people... read more
heidi-aaron-print-res-114

Our Wedding Completely Fell Apart in the Best Way

We still hugged so hard that my dress ripped

“You know, it’s no coincidence that we find ourselves here. While our backyard isn’t a destination for most weddings, it is for this one. That’s because this is where their story began. It’s a story that’s eight and a half years, two states, hundreds of miles, and now two rings in the making. And it’s all led back to here. It’s a story that began right where we now stand.” Ask any happily engaged couple planning an intimate backyard wedding about how they envision their day. They probably wouldn’t say, “You know what I’d really... read more

September 23, 2016

woman in kitchen with tea cup on table

APW Happy Hour

I'm good, I think. How are you?

by Stephanie Kaloi
Hey APW, In the wake of Terence Crutcher’s murder, I feel like I’ve been doing a whole lot less speaking and a whole lot more learning this week. Example: I read this article from PBS about how PTSD can be triggered every time someone shares a video of a black man being shot. That one hundred percent makes sense to me, and while I’m not one to share the videos anyway, I don’t think I had ever paused to think through the possible ramifications of doing so. I’ve also been doing a lot more learning about the presidential race... read more

September 22, 2016

woman standing alone in the sun

How Do I Talk to My Brother About the Way He Treats His Girlfriend?

If they break up, I'm not sure who I would choose

by Liz Moorhead
Q:I absolutely love my younger brother’s partner. They are pre-engaged, but she’s felt like a part of the family for years, and is a wonderful and generous person. But I have a real problem with how my brother treats her. Behavior that I used to brush off as youthful immaturity on my brother’s part (like irrational jealousy and flaking on very basic boyfriend duties, hurting her feelings) has not gone away and is troubling to witness. I’ve come to think of her as one of my best friends, as close to a sister as I’ll ever get... read more
family photo from watassa

It’s Already Time to Book Your Holiday Photos

Mini sessions + jewelry discounts + wedding album credits? Oh yes

by Stephanie Kaloi
Although our kid is almost eight, last year was the first year that my family of three ever actually sent out holiday cards. We had talked about it from time to time over the years, but usually neither of us ever got serious about actually making the cards until the holidays were upon us… which is way too late. That’s why we’re having a new set of family photos taken in two weeks. Time is precious, y’all (and also our most recent family photos are almost three years old). In the hopes that you too will plan ahead, we’ve... read more

September 21, 2016

rihanna and drake at the vmas

Proposing in Public Is the Worst and You Should Never Do It

Repeat after me: I will not propose in public

by Stephanie Kaloi
A few months ago, Chinese diver and all-around badass Olympian and woman He Zi won a fucking silver medal at the 2016 Olympic Games. A silver medal, guys! That is huge! I would actually love to be able to link to a video of the silver medal winning dive, because I think you guys would really like it, but unfortunately all of the videos I can find are all about her boyfriend, and how he proposed to He while she was standing on the podium, receiving her fucking silver medal. The world was just totally jazzed about this picture-perfect moment: what’... read more
death_to_stock_photography_weekend_work_13_of_18

This Is One Sentence I Am Sick and Tired of Hearing at Work

You were expecting someone else?

People often get to know me through my public speaking and articles before they meet me in person, and it seems like everyone has preconceived notions about someone they only know through text. The most common reaction I get—from people who like my work, no less, and especially from other women—is, “I didn’t expect you to be so short!” I write articles about women and careers from a feminist POV, run a feminist web shop, and produce the annual Bullish Conference, none of which are pursuits involving physical prowess. Well, I... read more

September 20, 2016

pig bank

How You Can Solve Your Marriage’s Most Important Money Questions

You can do this

by Meg Keene
Chances are, at some point, most of us probably got a bare-bones financial education, or else we wouldn’t know how to write a check. But otherwise? As a country we’re pretty financially illiterate—only 37 percent of Americans can pass this basic financial literacy quiz. When that news broke, I asked the APW staff if they were willing to take it. We have a team full of really smart ladies, and they all scored well on the quiz. But after they took it, they pointed out that the quiz really just covered basic math concepts. (Q: How fast... read more
san francisco wedding photographer - dustin cantrell (27)

Your Wedding Adventure Begins with This Bay Area Photographer

Get your Meryl Streep on, girl

by Stephanie Kaloi
At some point in the planning process, you may have had someone tell you, “No one is going to care about your wedding as much as you do.” And sure, it may be true that no one else is going to have quite the same stakes in making sure the chairs are not ugly, or your shoes are the right shade of sea foam to match your nail polish, or your dress has the appropriate level of bling. (Hey, we all have our wedding kryptonite.) But, if you’re lucky—or smart—you’ll hire a vendor or two from the special breed of people that [&hellip... read more

September 19, 2016

bride and groom standing together

Don’t Like Your Married Name? Change It Back

Trust me, no one else will even care

by Anonymous
I didn’t know that it wasn’t right for me to change my name until I changed my name. I suppose there’s more to it than that. I waffled back and forth during our whole engagement, but eventually decided to add Hisname to the end of my name, giving myself two middle names. Last June, we got married. At first, I loved signing my husband’s name. Two t’s at the end was really fun to write. It was novel and thrilling. Then school started (I teach eighth grade), and every day I heard a name that wasn’t mine. I made decisions;... read more
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